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I Love Running

Date: Monday, October 12, 2009
Time: 11:45 PM

I enjoy running . It is some sort of medication for my soul . It never fails to lift me up .

Only recently , i experienced running as a form of torture .

I just came back from Road Relay competition which involved running 2.9km . Each team consist of 5 people . 3 guys and 2 girls .

Flashes of what happened just now is running through my head now .

First runner from our team sped off . He was fast . But others were faster . We were 4th .

2nd runner received the baton . We managed to catch up . We were near 3rd .

3rd runner threw his leg forward the furthest he could . And we were 3rd .

I was the 4th runner . With the baton in my hand , i ran as fast as my fat leg brought me . Up the first slope . I see the runner of the next team just a bit ahead of me ... The team which was leading ( no.1 ) was no where in sight . Sigh . How long till i see her ? I thought . And i continued running but at a more comfortable pace .

"I can do this . I can do this . Don't stop .She's just a few steps away. Don't stop . Speed up ." I kept repeating to myself . After the checkpoint , i passed the girl who was ahead of me . On down , one more to go . I could hear See Wei cheering for Taurus ( our team ) . " Time to hit 4th gear ". From then on . My head was totally blank .It was dark . I couldn't see where i was running . My muscles were filled with lactic acid . I'm 2nd now . I came to a curb . Roshnee and Cyril ( my team mates who were there as marshals ) were there . They came close to me . I heard them cheering . " Come on Shi Yi . You can do it Shi Yi " I heard Roshnee's voice . I heard Cyril's voice . I passed the curb . And i saw my opponent . I could see that she was struggling . So was I . I felt like stopping . I really really did wanted to stop . But i couldn't . " Its just that bit further . Overtake her . Mess with her confidence . " All kinds of strategies suddenly flooded my mind .

I reached the slopes . " Open stride . Open stride . " A Tip from Jia Wei ( my team mate ) before the run started . First slope accomplished . A 100 meter flat road ahead . Then came the 2nd slope down . I was closer to her now . Just a few faster and bigger strides , and i'll be ahead of her . When should i pass her ? Would i be sprinting too early to the finish line . " SPRINT and go ALL OUT from the sign board . " Another tip from Jia Wei before the run . And i passed my opponent .

I felt my heart pumping so hard . "PUSH ON. Just a little more " The finish line was in sight . I had to tell myself that . Even though , it felt so far away . " She's catching up . She's catching up . All out now "

I sprinted the last 100meters . And it was then . I felt like crying . I really wanted to stop . It was such a terrible feeling . Painful . A torture . But , how could i stop when i was so near the finish line . "Come on , Come on " i repeated in my mind . I breathed so hard , I think a few leaves actually flew off the ground . After a few more breath , i was sounding out the words " come on, come on " when i exhaled. I wonder if anyone heard me .

I saw Jia Wei waiting with his palms stretched out to me . He was ready to speed off as the last runner of our team . I picked my legs up for the last time . Pushed my muscles to the maximum . Placed the baton in his palms . There ... My battle was over .

We were leading for that few moments till the last runner of the other team caught up . We came in 2nd . It was just 10 seconds difference . But , i was really happy . Happy that i pushed myself .

I really needed to get my thoughts here . . . Its been quite some time since i pushed myself that hard . All thanks to running . I now know i can achieve my goals if i pushed myself hard enough. It just takes a little bit of determination and endurance . And if you could endure that few moments of pain until the very end . You are a winner .

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Busy beee ?

Date: Friday, October 2, 2009
Time: 3:48 PM


Arrrgh ! I've been so busy lately .

Actually , no , i think I'm not that busy after all . I just waste a lot of time . Sleeping when i don't need to sleep at all really takes up a lot of time . Ferreting around my cupboard and the refrigerator for food, when i don't feel hungry at all , also takes up a lot of time . I'm so very lazy compared to the days in Semester 1 and 2 and especially form 6 .

I realize i only come to my blog really late at night . Guess that i've found the time when I feel like pouring out my soul and do some reflecting .

Reflecting it shall be ... GREAT. . .All i can think now is that i really need to get serious and study . I haven't been studying . I remember telling myself i need to start studying hard after how terrible i fumbled in the last examination .Its been 5 weeks since . Still the same though . Its so hard to put words into action .

But , i've improved a little . I managed to cut the Facebook addiction to less then 2 hours per day .Yes , i can spend a lot of time on Facebook just looking through photo albums and click click click away . Need to further reduce it . Ha! See , i ' ve got self-control . Though , i have to give some credit to my ever super slow and unstable internet connection .

Next week will be a busy week . Not because of sleep and the food in my cupboard . But , IMU cup . The table tennis representative ( the guy who has to find for players for the competition ) just called me an hour ago , asking me to play for the house . Not because i'm good at it , but because no one else wants to play .

I initially put down my name in hopes of training myself and improve my ping pong playing skills ... but I couldn't attend the trainings and there were so few trainings . Thus , I decided not to play . Now , the competition is just 3 days away . I shudder at imagining the volume of laughter that would fill the halls of IMU . EEeek ！

I would very much prefer not to embarrass myself . I can't take public humiliation very well .


But then , the guy was so ... kesian + desperate . I rejected him at first . But , I could hear from his voice and tone that he's really fed up already and just wants to get his job done . And since I was the representative of the event - road relay , i knew very well how difficult it was to get ppl to come for training . So ... yup , i have agreed to embarrass myself on Monday .


Sigh ... stupid decisions i make these days .

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6 more days

Date: Sunday, September 13, 2009
Time: 2:58 AM

Why am i so easily persuaded , distracted ?

First i deleted the MSN contact . It helped me much . Now , i deleted the FB connection . Lets see how it goes .

Christian songs are the best for healing the emo soul .

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Would you let go of your ego and let your enemy win ?

Date: Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Time: 6:31 PM

27 “But to you who are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you.

28 Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you.

29 If someone slaps you on one cheek, offer the other cheek also. If someone demands your coat, offer your shirt also.

30 Give to anyone who asks; and when things are taken away from you, don’t try to get them back.

31 Do to others as you would like them to do to you.

C's being all stingy and selfish now . Unwilling to share her stuff with me and A . I THINK she purposely kept her detergent so that we couldn't use it .She's pissed off ok . I feel , that's a bit immature . But who am i to judge her .



I still let her use my frying pan which she completely blackened and never wash after using . I let her use my bowls and utensils . I let her use the microwave .I let her use my kitchen roll . I let her use the mop .I let her finish my chilli sauce without making any noise .


Let me think if i used any of her stuff . I used her clothes hanger . I used her detergent before she took it away ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... yup , i guess that's it .



The bible said to offer her the other side of my cheek .

Which means that , even though she doesn't want to share her detergent , A and I offer her our detergent to use .


Which means that , even if she don't want to share her food with us , A and I give our food willingly to her .

Which means that , even if she took away her detergent , A and I don't ask it back from her .

Which means that , even if she emotionally hurt us , A and I don't do the same .

Which means that , even if she don't want to talk to us , A and I talk like normal to her .

Which means that , even if she look at us with hatred , A and I look at her as a family .

Which means that , even if she hated us , A and I hope the best for her .



It'll be tough . Life's a challenge .

*** photos are the 4 days 3 nights trip to Manado in August with my family.


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Liar Liar Pants On Fire

Date:
Time: 3:09 AM

Someone just lied . Professionally . But , too bad , after putting all the effort of telling the lie , that someone is still unable to lie pass a MHS Beta brain . I feel so embarrassed for her . Imagine yourself telling lies to people who you plan to cheat . These people , know more than you'd expect . And after telling the lie , u found out that they actually watched you lie to them . In this scenario , I am the one watching her lie .

How can someone just lie without blinking ? How can someone make up lies so that she would seem noble and as innocent as a 3 year old and ... not feel a single guilt at all ?

Its really funny , as I rewind my thoughts back to the seconds she crapped . I still remember every movement she made and the tone she used when she lied . Its still fresh in my head .

You must be wondering what is it that she lied about . And maybe who she is .

Here goes .

So , the utility bills came in yesterday ... I came back , jaw dropped upon hearing the numbers . Each of us had to pay RM 150 which means . RM 75 per month per person . I would consider this expensive . Before she moved in , our bill was RM 30+ per person for 2 months . Each month would cost RM 15 + only ... Now , its 5 times increased . I couldn't believe the numbers i heard .

Side track a bit . Some relevant details you need to know . We'll label the " she " i'm referring to as C ( C for cheater , con artist , orang celaka , child's play ) and we'll label my other friend who's annoyed by C as A .

Its not the first time she got me and A disliking her . Its been like that for quite some time now . Me and A would always sit in the kitchen and complain about C . Mainly complaining about C's actions and the amount of electric and water C uses . You would need to stay under the same roof with C to really experience how it feels .

Back to the question . What did she do ? In short , she used too much electricity and water . And neither me nor A want to pay for the amount of electric and water she uses . Because , from my point of view , its not fair . I don't want to pay for what I am not using . If we equally divided the bill , that would mean A and I would be paying for the water and electricity C used . It would be a deed to help her pay off part of the bill . But , i 'd prefer walking the elderly across the road .

Yesterday night , A and I confronted her . I was the one who rolled the ball . We started off by talking about the electric bill because it was the electric bill that was the trouble . So , i suggested that all 3 of us practice abstinence . I proposed that all 3 of us refrain from using the air con for a month to see if there was any significant difference in the electric bill the next month . After having said that , C said " Actually , I haven't been turning on the air con since A's fan broke down because my skin bla bla bla ... and bla on somemore unreasonable excuses. " That .. was the first lie . A's air con broke down a month plus ago . It was just yesterday she and her bf enjoyed air con the whole night . It was just last week that she came out from her room wearing a scarve complaining that the air con was too cold . It was just last last week that the chilly air from her room cooled my feet when i stepped out from my room .

It just took a milisecond to register that she told a lie . Yup , and she made it seem that she was innocent . In a way , I could feel that she was blaming A and me ( coz my fan broke down recently ) for the elevation in the electric billl . I could rebut her because my fan broke down only last week , and the bill for last week is not accounted in this bill but the bill for next month . A , on the other hand , couldn't say anything . We moved on to the water bill .

The water bill was cheap . Even though it was cheap , I still felt the need to fairly pay for the bill . As C uses more water , A and I proposed that she paid extra . And she said ," Actually , i don't mind paying extra for water bill , but i only wash clothes ONE extra time ( she did emphasise the word " one " ) from both of u , don't tell me ,that, you also want to count . " That was the 2nd lie .

Kiss my gluteus maximus ( butt ) ok . A and I washed clothes once per week , using 35 litres of water each time and sometimes 45 litres of water . C , on the other hand , washes her clothes 3 times per week using 35 to 45 litres of water each time . I ain't stupid . I have eyes . I observe . I'm not dumb . I know I'm not the brightest . I know my brain slow a bit . BUT , 3 times is 3 times per week . Not ONE . And C could lie that she only washed extra 1 time compared to me and A . Totally not true at all .

When she lie , she's like damn kesian . The face like damn innocent . But then it has no effects on us gals . Too bad for her .

My other friend whom she was once closed to told me that C's ex housemates had the same problem with her . They didn't use air con . C's the only one in the unit who used air con . And after she moved in . The electric bill shot up . Consequently , the exhousemate kejam kejam force her to pay . And i think she did .

Besides this , A feels very annoyed by her actions . In a way , C doesn't give respect to A . And A has a soft spot . She'll help C despite the fact that its against her will . Lately, A complains much more about her to me . Can see that she already tak boleh tahan . A even said that she want to move out from this unit . Hope she changes her mind and stays on . Otherwise , things will turn out very ugly .

I know that C occasionally reads my blog . I'm not going to apologize . If she does read it , very good then . Save me the trouble of telling it to her face . Saves her the embarrassment too . She's lost our trust and respect .

At least , we know now what she's capable of .



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